Whose Line Is It Anyway: LWD 2nd Edition
by OriginalDeadman
Summary: The Whose Line gang is back, and this time the McDonald/Venturi clan decides to drop by the set for more fun and games. Drew's still fat, Colin's still bald, and the guys find two new stepsiblings to be the butt of the jokes. Dasey, Lizwin throughout.
1. Intro, HW Director, Weird Newscasters

A/N: Okay, here's the long promised sequel to "Whose Line Is It Anyway: Life With Derek Edition". Just a couple of things I want to get out of the way.

First, the format will be different. Instead of taking place in London and designed as one huge prank on the McDonald-Venturis, this one will be at the WL studio and will just involve the M/V family joining in on various games.

Second, Derek and Casey are a couple in this one, as the running gag/eventual outcome in the first story was that they would end up with each other. There will still be Dasey, but this time the running gags and jokes will be aimed at getting Edwin and Lizzie together.

Third, I plan on using some different games that weren't used last time, like Film Noir, Questions Only, and Song Titles.

Just a reminder, here's how dialogue will break down:  
Person's name will identify who's speaking  
(words) – action  
'italics' – thoughts  
**bold text** – captions  
**bleep** - censored words

Disclaimer: Don't own LWD or WLIIA in any way, shape, or form.

Now, on with the show!

* * *

Drew: Good evening and welcome to 'Whose Line Is It Anyway?"! On tonight's show: Mr. Boots himself, Wayne Brady (Wayne laughs and smiles brightly) Canada's question to the answer "Why?", Colin Mochrie! (Colin just stares at the camera) And the world's tallest short guy, Ryan Stiles! (Ryan mouths "What? What do you want?") And I'm your host, Drew Carey, come on down and let's have some fun!

(Audience claps while Drew goes down the steps and has a seat behind the desk)

Drew: Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right the points are just like an armed guard at a 99 cent store. (Guys laugh)

Ryan (pointing at group of chairs behind theirs on the stage): Hey Drew, what's with the extra chairs? You didn't overdo it at Pizza Hut again did you? (Audience and guys laugh)

Drew: Not even into the show yet and Ryan is losing points. No, actually, not too long ago, we were in London, Ontario, Canada for a show that involved the McDonald-Venturi family.

Wayne: Ah, yes. That was a fun day.

Drew: Well, I called them a few weeks back to check up on them. They mentioned that they had so much fun the last time that they wanted to come back and do another taping with us.

Colin: Really?

Ryan: You mean they're here right now?

Drew: Why don't we bring them out right now? Everyone give a round of applause for our special guests, the McDonald-Venturi family!

(Derek, Casey, George, Nora, Edwin, Lizzie, and Marti all walk out to a huge applause. They exchange handshakes and hugs with Drew and the guys, then take a seat in the empty chairs on stage)

Derek: Wooooooo!

Drew: Oh man, it's so great to see all of you again.

George: It's great to be back Drew. It feels a little different since you're not surprising us and bugging our house with video cameras.

Ryan: Hey, you got to enjoy being celebrity for a day.

Wayne: Hmmm…Nora, something seems a little different about you.

Colin: Yeah, something you need to share with us?

Nora (gushing): Well, recently, George and I found out we're having a baby.

(Drew, guys, and the audience give a loud round of applause)

Marti: I'm going to be a big sister!

Wayne (to Nora): She already went through the "I'm the baby" phase?

(Nora nods her head in agreement)

Drew: Wow, you get two of them out of your hair and now start to replace them. Speaking of which – Derek and Casey, where are you two going to school at?

Derek: Well, we both decided to attend Queen's University. I was a late acceptance, while Casey waited until the last possible minute to accept her scholarship. She was freaking out about her future.

Casey (slapping him on the hand): Der-ek!

Derek: Well, it's true.

Casey: You're lucky you've got good looks. Otherwise, I'd smash your face in with one of your hockey sticks.

Colin: You two are dating now, right?

(Derek and Casey nod, then exchange glances at each other)

Ryan: Good to see some things haven't changed. So, how are the rest of you doing?

Edwin: I'm doing great! People at the high school are already talking about me, and I haven't even started yet!

Lizzie: That's because he decided to help Derek pull a prank at their graduation (pointing at Derek and Casey) and got suspended before high school even started.

(Guys laugh. Edwin gives a sheepish look)

Wayne: Ah...young love.

Ryan: This group loves to keep it in the family.

Edwin/Lizzie: What?!

Colin: Here we go again.

Drew: Alright, let's get started with a game called "Hollywood Director". This is for Wayne, Colin, Ryan, and Derek (Colin walks over to Drew's desk and grabs an envelope, while the other three walk out onto the stage). Wayne, Colin, and Derek are going to act out a film scene for us and Colin will be the temperamental Hollywood director. Now, Colin will have to give them notes every once in a while on how to make the scene better. The scene is – Ryan is an incompetent waiter who spills something on temperamental supermodel Wayne. It's really amazing how the producers get to know the cast. (Everyone laughs as Wayne gives an offended glare at Drew) Derek will be her angry husband who comes in to confront Ryan. So, whenever you're ready, take it away.

(Ryan acts like he's placing drinks on a platter, while Wayne acts like he's putting on make-up. Ryan then walks over and 'spills' his tray on Wayne)

Ryan: Oh!

Wayne: Ahhhh!

Ryan: I'm sorry. That's pudding, that's going to be hard to get out.

Wayne: You! What's your name?!

Ryan (acting like he's wiping of Wayne's shirt): I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Wayne: Stop touching me! I only weigh 80 pounds! It hurts!

Derek (walking out and rapping his arm around Wayne): Sorry baby, I was at band practice. I got over here as fast as I could. (Points at Ryan) Did you touch her?

Wayne: He spilled…

(Ryan steps closer to them and spills the tray on Derek)

Ryan: I'm sorry.

Wayne: Oh!

Derek: That's leather man!

Ryan: I'm so sorry. I'm just…I feel so bad about this, I should just quit. I'm not much of a waiter. I'm incompetent.

Wayne: But you do have a certain bone structure. You ought to be a model.

Colin: Cut, cut, cut, cut! (Holds a hand above his head and points at it) If this was crap, you'd need a ladder to get this high! Horrible, horrible! (Wayne points at himself) Yes, you sucked too! Think! Be the character! You know what – maybe if we rip off something. (Acts like he's thinking) Yes. Do it like you're Looney Toons! (Points to Ryan) You're Bugs Bunny, (to Wayne) you're Daffy Duck, and (point to Derek) you're Elmer Fudd! Action!

(Colin runs off. Wayne and Ryan resume the scene)

Ryan: Eh, what's up doc?

(Ryan spills his tray on Wayne)

Wayne: This sir, is this last straw! I demand to see your manager!

Derek: Shhhh, be vewy, vewy quite. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Wayne: This clumsy rabbit spilled drinks all over me. Shoot him now! Shoot him now!

Ryan: Now calm down! He doesn't have to shoot you now!

Wayne: Yes he does! I demand that you shoot me now!

Derek: Okay. (Acts like he's pointing a rifle at Wayne) BOOM! (Imitates gunshot)

(Wayne snaps his head to the side. He then 'straightens' it out with his hands, and walks up to Ryan)

Wayne: You're despicable.

Colin: Cut! Cut! It was a nice try, but it just didn't seem energetic enough. I've got it! Do it like you're rodeo riders! (Pauses for a moment) Action!

(Wayne and Ryan acting like they are saddling up on broncos)

Wayne (imitating buzzer): Eeeennnnnggg! (Starts jumping around like he's riding a bronco) Whoa! Wooooooo!

Ryan (pretending he's riding a horse): Whoa!

(Ryan rides over and spills his tray on Wayne)

Wayne: Oh!

Derek (riding into the scene): What did you do to my woman?! Ahhhh! (Jumps on Ryan's back like he's riding a horse)

Ryan: Oh! Get off! (Staggers a couple of steps due to Derek's momentum) **bleep**!

Colin: Cut, cut, cut!!! (Derek jumps off Ryan's back. Wayne and everyone else is laughing hysterically) My God! He's over 50!

Derek: I, uh…

Colin (to Ryan): You okay?!

Ryan: Uh-huh!

Colin (to Derek): You know we don't have the insurance! Alright…!

Derek: I'm sorry.

Colin: I know you're sorry! Do it this way – do it like a porn movie filled with exercise instructors!

Ryan: It's porn, so I can lie down, right?

Colin: Yes, you can! (Runs off stage) Action!

Ryan (lying down on his back): Ahhhh!

Wayne: Excuse me, where's my…? (Ryan acts like he's throwing items at Wayne) Oh. You got stuff all over me. I guess I've got to take it off. (Acts like he's removing his shirt. Derek walks out and just looks back and forth at Wayne and Ryan)

BUZZ!

Derek (helping Ryan back to his feet): You alright?

Ryan: I'm okay. (Guys return to their seats) Hey, that disk popped right back in!

(Everyone laughs)

Derek: I broke Ryan.

Drew (chuckling): Faster, faster, you fool, you fool.

Ryan: That's quite a sensation when those vertebrae rub against each other.

Drew: No, that was really hilarious. I'll give you a hundred bucks to do it again later on, but for now, 1000 points apiece. Now, let's go on to a game called…how's your back, really?

Ryan: Good.

Drew: 'Cause I saw you going… (Whispers something inaudible)

Ryan: Actually, I was saying "Get the **bleep** off! Get the **bleep** off!" (Drew and audience laughs) I don't know if we can air that or not, but that's what I was saying.

Marti: Ryan said a bad word!

Derek: I wasn't sure what he meant by that.

Drew: I thought you were saying "Faster, faster. You fool, you fool."

Marti: Isn't anyone going to wash his mouth out with soap?

(M/V family laughs at Marti's question)

Drew: Okay, let's go on with a game called "Weird Newscasters". This is for Wayne, Colin, Ryan, and Casey…

Casey (squealing): Yes! (Runs out on stage with the guys. Colin grabs the stools for him and Casey)

Drew: Colin, you're going to be the anchorman of a local news show. Casey, you're the co-anchor and you've had one drink too many at lunch and have lost all of your inhibitions.

Casey: Okay.

Derek: Kind of like when you started dating me.

Casey/Nora/George: Der-ek!

Drew: Sports, you're doing the Wayne, and you are Michael Jackson and James Brown in a Celebrity Deathmatch. Ryan, you're doing the weather and you're an Incan high priest who must sacrifice a virgin. Got to remind you, if you come anywhere near my desk, I'll kill you. (Audience laughs) So, whenever you're ready, take it away.

("Weird Newscasters" Theme begins playing. Casey sways back and forth on her stool while giving her best 'glazed over' look to the camera)

Colin: Welcome to the six o'clock news, I'm your anchor, Lars Of-the-Mohicans. Our top story today – the Great Jamboni, eccentric human cannonball known for taking his lucky donkey to all of his performances, escaped near tragedy today when the donkey climbed into the cannon muzzle just as Jamboni was taking off. It took the surgeons three hours to remove Jamboni's head from his ass. (Everyone erupts in laughter) Both are resting comfortably. And now, over to my beautiful co-anchor, Janine Janoo. Janine.

Casey (**Has had one too many drinks and lunch and lost her inhibitions**): Oh. (Runs a finger underneath Colin's chin) You called me beautiful. (Laughs and runs her hand down his arm)

Colin: Well, it was on the card.

Casey: You're pretty cute yourself. You really are…I thought so…would you like to do something with me?

Colin: Well, there's news… (Points at the camera)

Casey: We can dance toge…I am a great dancer. I dance so well! I used to take ballet when I was a kid, but hold on. (Stands up and gets in a ballerina pose) Ready, and… (Casey starts dancing around, combining her graceful skills with some planned 'drunken stumbling'. She stops, then acts like she's about to throw up)

Colin: More on that coming up later. Now, over to sports with our tag team sports anchors, James Brown and Michael Jackson.

Wayne (**Michael Jackson and James Brown in a Celebrity Deathmatch**): Welcome to Celebrity Deathmatch. In this corner, weighing 80 pounds – the Prince of Pop, the Alabaster of Skin, carrying one monkey named Bubbles – Michael Jackson! In this corner – the reigning Godfather of Soul, Please-baby-baby-baby-please – James Brown!

(As Michael Jackson)  
Ooooh! James…I'm going to take your head  
I'm going to take your head  
I'm going to beat your ass  
I'm going to beat your ass  
I'm going to hit you James  
I'm going to hit you in the head  
(imitates Michael's dancing)  
After this match's finished  
You'll feel bad. Uh!

(As James Brown)  
Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen  
Ain't no way Michael Jackson going beat me  
Dun-dun-dun-dun!  
Yeah!  
(starts dancing like James)  
Cause I'm gonna kick you  
I'm gonna beat you boy  
Yeah, I'm gonna kick your ass  
(gets on one knee, holding out an arm)  
Can't do it, won't do it, won't do it  
(Drew walks out and drapes his coat over him. Wayne then springs up, throwing the coat off)  
Yeah!

(as James) Come on, come on! (acts like Michael kicking James in the face) Oh! Yeah! (act like James throwing a punch below the belt) Ooooh! (throws a backhand) Ooooh! (throws and uppercut; as James) Yeah! One, two, three…I won! (as the announcer) James Brown!

Colin: That was quite a shock that Michael lost… (Casey pretends to throw up on the floor) …This just in – experienced custodial crew needed at local news station. And now over to the weather, and our weather man, Sprinkly Days.

Ryan (**Incan high priest looking for a virgin to sacrifice**): Thank you very much Colin. Friday, we have rain moving in. Saturday – volcanic eruptions that will destroy the earth…unless we make a sacrifice to the god of Araijah! (walks out and starts looking out over the crowd. He does this for a few moments, then makes his way over toward Drew's desk. He looks over at the McDonald-Venturis, then at the guys and Casey out on the stage. He then walks over behind Drew's desk and examines the crowd behind him) WE'RE GONNA DIE! WE'RE GONNA DIE! (runs out of the studio)

Colin: Breaking news – virginity abolished in Southern California. More tonight at eleven.

Derek (running out on stage): Yes! This is the best day ever!

Casey (sauntering over to Derek and throwing his arms around him): You're cute. (she then throws her arms around him and plants a sloppy kiss on his lips)

Colin: That's all the news we have! Join us tomorrow – same time, same news!

BUZZ!

(Wayne, Derek, Colin, and Casey return to their seats. A few moments later, Ryan walks back into the studio and to his seat)

Drew: Just rocking. 1000 points to all four of you. An extra 500 to Wayne for knowing who the real king of soul is. Nothing against Michael Jackson, but James Brown…c'mon. And 300 for Casey for laying a wet one on Derek after puking everywhere. (everyone laughs, except for one person…)

Edwin: Hey, where's Marti at?

Lizzie: She was just here a minute ago.

(Just then, Marti walks out with a can of Pepsi)

Marti: Here's your soda, Daddy.

(Everyone looks George)

Nora: Georgie!

George: What?! I had enough to explain to her after the last show! I'm just trying to reduce the amount of awkward talks!

Ryan: Poor Marti. Being deprived of both laughter and knowledge.

Drew: We'll be right back with more "Whose Line" right after this, don't go anywhere!

-Commercial-

* * *

A/N: Hard act to follow, but I hope you enjoyed it. Don't forget to review.  
- the OD


	2. Story Status and Update

To my devoted readers on FF(dot)net,

Just wanted to give an update on what's been happening so far. I started working on the 2nd chapter of WLIIA: LWD 2nd Edition a couple weeks back, but have been bogged down for various reasons. The two main reasons being work and family.

Work has been hectic. A lot of traveling and not much business going on. Needless to say, it's frustrating - especially when you've got to pay bills and put food on the table.

Things at home haven't been very rosy lately. My wife and I have had some issues we've been working through. Things were looking pretty bad at one point - but thanks to the Good Lord, we're working things out and making things right again.

I'm going to ask that you don't comment or review on this - I just wanted to give an explanation of what's been going on and why it may be a while before I'm back on here updating/publishing stories or if I ever come back at all. You guys and girls deserve that much. I hope someday I can come back and write more stories, but right now, there are much more important things in my life I need to deal with - first and foremost being a good husband to my wife.

'Til next time - take care and God bless!

-the OD


End file.
